Your career is in good hands... or is it?! The duo shares lots of thoughts and comedy on who is in charge of your career in this one. They talk turkey about speaking up, how to effectively communicate your needs, taking out the emotion and fear out of asking for more money, etc. Take your sh*t by the horns with this one, friends.
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Alexa Baggio on Instagram, Tiktok, and LinkedIn
Alexa
How are you?
Tyson
Good. Good. I just. Yeah, no, I'm feeling like a little bit, like, overwhelmed. I just got an email today from Rosie's daycare about her transition plan, so it's not until the beginning of March, but it's about.
Alexa
Now. Does she do something wrong or like she's you know, she's got a temper.
Tyson
She's a start. She hasn't started yet. Right. So she she's still home. So it's like a big deal. Like, Rosie's going to daycare March six. She starts with like a couple hours and then, like, that's what they do it like you start with 2 hours and 3 hours.
Alexa
Going to be mentally prepared to give up your daughter a few hours a day.
Tyson
Well, it's so funny because, like, I'm like, I'm so ready for her because, look, I my husband's the one that's off with her right now. He's doing an excellent job, and no one's better to take care of your kids and the parents. But like we're not used to is right. Like, I'm an H.R. professional I don't know shit about teaching kids stuff.
Tyson
I don't know what she's supposed to be doing all day long. So I'm, like, excited for her to, like, learn from actual teachers. So that'll be great. But also, like, I'm going to miss her, and it's, like, always scary giving your child to people that you don't know.
Alexa
It's part of the process.
Tyson
Yes, I know, so.
Alexa
Well, that's exciting. Yes. In a crazy way. It just I'm Mark most of our milestones on this podcast by how old Rosie is and Rosie's development. So the fact that she's going to daycare means I know we're growing up.
Tyson
I know it's actually wild is that really wild? I think when you when you just like a little bit of like tidbit for the audience to know. I think when you talk to me about this podcast, originally I was all like secretly I think you were probably one of the first people that I was like, I'm happy to do it and I want to do this so badly.
Tyson
But like, I am pregnant. Yeah. And it was like a whole thing. I think.
Alexa
You told me before you told your.
Tyson
Work. I absolutely did tell you. I told you before. I told a lot of my friends because we were like going to, you know. Yeah. And we're like going into a business venture together, but yes. Anyways, so that's so that's me. But how about you? What's going on with you? Where are you at these days?
Alexa
Oh, Mexico. I had to go back to the beach. My soul was too cold in New England, and I did the rounds for the holidays. I thoroughly enjoyed it. There was Mary, Mary, all the things. But I am tired of eating my face off and being cold. So I'm back in Mexico and I will probably be here for we'll see maybe Q1, maybe all of it.
Alexa
We'll see more of that. Trying to stay sort of a little bit regionally. For a little while because we got a lot going on. But yeah, it's been it's been a wild journey. And I sort of started my my remote digital as my friend Kim's mom recently called me Homeless Journey.
Tyson
Oh.
Alexa
For sure. No, I'm back at home. Yeah. Yeah. We're thinking, you know, oh, well, this'll sort of find my I'll find my next location and my next sort of, you know, home base. It turns out I need longer than six months, so I'm staying on the road for a bit and but, you know, trying to stay focused on work and all the things we got going on.
Alexa
So trying to stay sort of in Mexico, but we'll see. Subject to change, as always.
Tyson
Very cool.
Alexa
Yeah. And I have a I have to I know, I know. We're not talking about the New Year anymore, but I have two. Since we talked about intentions on our last episode, I have two sort of words for my year and my words are presence and discipline. So those are I'm trying to be more present in the places that I am in with the people that I'm with.
Alexa
And then also more disciplined in my pursuits because as the whole world knows, I got too much fucking shit going on.
Tyson
The thing is, though, like, I don't know anyone that has more discipline than you. You literally, like, run all sorts of races uphill with weights on your back. So you know what? I think you're doing a really great job.
Alexa
I appreciate you just have more reasons to come forward and you.
Tyson
Continue to be disciplined.
Alexa
Yes, there we go. Just like yours. Continue to be awesome.
Tyson
Okay. Yeah, yeah, I'll take it.
Alexa
Yeah. All right. Well, speaking of which, our subject for today is one that you were very adamant about. I'm really excited to talk to you about, which is what we're calling it is sort of like who's in charge of your career? But I think you should frame this up for the people, which is like, why? Why did you want to talk about this?
Alexa
The New Year? And a lot of people are talking about new jobs, new, you know, hiring. All that stuff is kick back off for people when obviously lots of layoffs at the end of last year. But why why was this top of mind for you?
Tyson
100%. So, you know, as we look back on 2022, we had a lot of quiet ness you know quiet.
Alexa
Quitting quitting quiet.
Tyson
Promotions quiet this quiet that and what I'm thinking ahead to 2023. I really really really want people and I've said this in previous podcasts but I really want people to get loud and to start taking control of their own shit and stop just sitting there passively and expecting that things will happen to them. So we're not alone. Yes.
Tyson
So that's what I was going to get. So where this gets comes up a lot for me is when I hear, you know, whether it be in a work environment like so when I'm on, on, like working as H.R. or even with friends, when they're like, I don't know how to tell, I'm disappointed in my bonus and I don't know how to talk to my boss about that, or I don't want to say anything about, you know, my pay or I really want a promotion but I'm not going to I don't know how to ask people about it.
Tyson
And it's almost as if, you know, this sort of old thought of, you know, just like don't say anything and expect that things will happen to you where you just like sort of like pray that something's going to happen and not say anything. Whereas from my perspective in H.R. and this is what I always tell friends, especially girlfriends who come to me being like, Oh, I don't know how to talk about my pay, is I'm like, you know what?
Tyson
If you don't say anything.
Alexa
Right? It's unknown.
Tyson
You're it's unknown. And we're probably.
Alexa
Like.
Tyson
Squeaky wheel gets the grease. And so I think I'll just.
Alexa
Be a 22 year kids.
Tyson
Yes. It really needs and like, you know, like to an extent because now I'm going to be like, Oh shit. Like from any perspective, I don't need everybody like coming and being like.
Alexa
On behalf of all your colleagues, I apologize to sacrifice here.
Tyson
But but I think the way that I want to start looking at this is that some of these conversations, this is a skill, this is a muscle that people have to build. And these are really important life skills that people should know. And it shouldn't be an emotion like it shouldn't be emotion based. It needs to be, you know, the ability to have intelligent, well-thought-out conversations in a work environment to really sort of speak up for what you expect Right.
Tyson
I guess I'm just sort of rambling on, but that's sort of where this came from.
Alexa
Okay. So I think the important thing let's designate this first and foremost is that no one else is in charge of your career, but you sacked your manager, may have your best interests at heart. They make fun for you because you're someone that they like. Or an employee that they want to keep. But ultimately, like your career is not their problem, just like the people who designed the levels at your company, just like mentors all those things, like nobody can actually get this stuff done but you unless you are lucky enough to ride someone's coattails without trying, which is rare.
Alexa
It definitely happens. I definitely have some friends who've done that, but it is rare. So I think if there's no contest on that thought, I guess my question for you, Tyson, would be what are the things that you think are maybe most easily neglected like the things that people just don't? It's like you really should be doing this if there's something that you want, aside from just communicating, obviously, and working on that skill.
Alexa
But like, what are some of the things that you just constantly get frustrated with that you're like, oh, my God, everybody.
Tyson
So I think my biggest thing is when you have someone who's working for a company and it's, you know, this company sucks and this manager sucks and I hate my boss and I don't like what I'm doing and this and that and this and that, and they almost give sort of like an ultimate team back to the company, like, well, you know what?
Tyson
Like you can like, I could just quit, like, I'm just going to quit or whatever. And they threaten, quit quitting. And I guess, like, my PSA is that every single person on this planet is replaceable.
Alexa
Everyone knows to quit. That's not like a novel thread.
Tyson
And and from an H.R. perspective, I'm like, okay, by you know, like and not to sound heartless and obviously, like, we want to keep the best people at a company, but I'm not going to hold a gun to someone's head expecting them to stay with a company. If you're not happy here, you can leave, like figure out your exit strategy.
Tyson
And I get it. You can't just quit. Like, not everybody has the ability to just leave their job. Like, this is like their, you know, their financial they're financially dependent on these jobs, but like you can come up with an exit strategy to, you know, get a job elsewhere. So it's like.
Alexa
Yeah, yeah. I think this is an important moment to just do a a slight off tangent slash pitch session slash PSA, which is everybody gets a grace period with which they are allowed to bitch about their job. So you're allowed to go through the phases of a realizing that you don't like where you're at and that you want change or that something is like unforgivable or you know, you can't unsee that your manager's a dick who's never going to help you or whatever the things are that you go through this process of realization that like maybe it's time to move on or that the place that you're at is not maybe adequately, adequately fulfilling your expectations
Alexa
but that grace period is like six months tops. Like, I have friends and people and colleagues that I have worked with where like that bitch session goes on for like fucking years. And then you just become like the person that cried wolf and you're not, you're not effective, you're just negative and you're just annoying the shit out of everyone.
Alexa
And you're not helping yourself, right? Like being the person that just bitches about the place that you work and all the politics and all the bullshit is just a drag on everyone, and no one wants to be around it after a while. So, like, if you're not willing to do anything about it, first and foremost, shut the fuck up.
Alexa
But if you are, you have to give yourself a grace period to like go through and realize what's wrong, get angry enough to do something about it. And then you start this process of like either speaking up or trying to incite change or, you know, taking a new position for yourself. Right.
Tyson
Totally. And look, we all need.
Alexa
To keep it forever.
Tyson
No, it's we all need to vent, you know?
Alexa
Yeah. But if you're not going to do something about it, then my sympathy is for you are limited. Like, if you're going to bitch about not getting a raise, but you continue to not speak about needing or wanting a raise, then.
Tyson
Like, right on your or if you're upset about not getting a raise and then you do something that's either passive aggressive or you come out guns blazing, you know, you don't appreciate me. So I'm just going to if you don't give me a better raise, I mean, I'm going to quit. So I think I think that this is where I'm like, okay, we need to have this skill set of how to have conversations with management about like how to ask for what we want in a way that's like not, you know, this is the worst company of all time and how dare you treat me?
Alexa
So how do you do it? What would be your advice?
Tyson
So this was my advice to someone that I actually spoke to recently. They weren't happy with their bonus. And they came back to me and a group of friends and they were like, Oh my gosh, I'm so disappointed. I really thought I was doing a good job. I'm really concerned about now the fact that, like, I got such a low bonus and like, maybe I'm not doing as good as I thought I was doing.
Tyson
So I coached her and I said, This is what you're going to do. You're going to send a note to your boss and you're not going to ask, but you're going to tell him or her. I'm going to put some time in your calendar to discuss my bonus. And this is a woman that I was talking to, which I think is important because sometimes what women do is they'll be like, Hey, I was just wondering if it's not too much trouble.
Tyson
Do you think it would be okay if I put maybe just like a couple of minutes in your calendar, if you have some free time, if you don't have any time, that's okay. No, no, none of that bullshit. Okay. I'm putting time in your calendar to discuss my bonus. This has nothing to do with emotion or like politics.
Tyson
This is simply the company gave you a bonus and you want to understand more about it.
Alexa
That is what it is.
Tyson
And says, okay. And I can tell you right now that men do this all the time. Okay, I have the insider scoop and they do it all the time. So this sort of quick tangent on that. But anyways, I said this was your new deal. So you set up the time in their calendar and when you know you're speaking with them, you want to come at it not as a, you know, how dare my bonus be so low or like, you know, this is, this is the world's ending because my bonus is so low.
Tyson
It's, you know, hey, my bonus was a little bit lower than I expected, was lower than I expected. And I want to get an understanding about how that that value was determined and if it has something to do with my performance, I'd really like to understand more about how I can improve going into next year. So again, you're coming at it from a very diplomatic perspective of like, I want to understand more, this is important to me.
Tyson
I want to do a good job. I'm concerned about my performance. And like if that's an issue and the result of the conversation with her manager. So she had the conversation with the manager and basically they told her, you know what, bonuses were really low this year and you got the highest bonus out of anyone on the team and the highest amount that we were able to provide.
Tyson
But the bonuses obviously bonuses usually have a like a company performance aspect to it. Right, right. And that's all it was. So it had nothing to do with her performance, had nothing to do with the fact that she was getting like, you know, just like forgotten about by by her by her boss or anything like that. It was simply like, that's the best he gave her the best that he could.
Alexa
As per usual, I'm just really mad at this manager for not fucking articulating that. Like like communication is not this hard. People like if bonuses are going to be down 40% in numbers across the board, just fucking tell everybody that. Yeah. Like it's not you. They've just all been slashed by 40%. Like, that's that's the deal. Kid's like, right, she shouldn't be over there like doubting herself, but.
Tyson
Right. Because without the context, people create stories in their head, right? So without information, people which the worst.
Alexa
Is relevant to this conversation because I think the important thing that you have to remember is nobody writes your narrative but you and nobody writes your story but you. So like if you don't articulate look, you can wait for a good manager all day. And if you're lucky enough to have one that is proactive, that is constantly asking you about career development, constantly asking you about pay and titles and responsible parties and, you know, career trajectory, fucking fantastic.
Alexa
But that's not the norm. And so if that's not the norm, then you have to be the one sort of plugging that narrative so that everyone around you knows what you're working for. To your point, like if they don't know about it, they can't advocate for it.
Tyson
Yeah.
Alexa
And you should be doing it well before you get the bonus. No, right. Well, before you get the title promotion like, yes, you've got to be proactive.
Tyson
You need to be your best advocate. And another I don't want, I don't want to like keep kicking a dead horse on this topic, but I just got back from work after a year long that live. Right. That's a very, very, very long time in like the world of business. And it's often like a huge concern for Canadian women who are like, holy shit.
Tyson
Like I'm at the top of my career what the hell am I going to do? Like, I'm taking a year off, like, and there's like a lot of stress that comes with that because like, you know, they're taking this time off. And again, that's one of those situations where I'm like, and I'll tell people this at work, like, you have to be your best advocate.
Tyson
So for me, before I went on that leave, I basically worked with my manager to like put in a promo case for myself. So I was like, Okay, I think that I need to be at this next level and I want to get this done before I go on a yearlong leave. And I made that happen. Like I pushed to a point where like I almost executed it myself, like when I was like going through like the paperwork of my leave and everything.
Tyson
I was like, Yeah, by the way, like, make sure you confirm with my lead that like my promo goes through before my, my mat leave date because I wanted everything in the system before I went on leave. So you really, really, really have to be your best advocate. Obviously, like, I had the chops to like back and I wasn't just like everyone.
Alexa
Has the inside track there.
Tyson
Right? And like, that's the other thing, you know, like I knew that I was ready for that role and I just wanted things like solidified before, like going into a yearlong leave but that's another thing to be, you know, really cognizant of. And I think.
Alexa
We talked about this.
Tyson
On a previous podcast. Even before you start asking for shit, you have to look in the mirror and ask yourself if you're, you know, if you have to.
Alexa
Also understand, right? Like you can't advocate for shit that isn't going to happen, right? So like, what is the promotion cycle? What is the pay cycle? What are the bands? What are the responsibility is associated with those bands? Like you got to ask all that shit before you just barge in and go like, I deserve a raise.
Tyson
100.
Alexa
Percent. Yeah. I also think it's important like, you know, I had a friend recently who very high up at a Fortune 500 company and he was sort of gunning for, let's call it a position that would be like one away from the CEO been there forever was sort of perfectly primed for the position they did the sort of standard we're going to interview internal candidates and external candidates thing and they wound up giving it to an external candidate and he was floored because he's like right in line for the job and they just decided to go with this external candidate, which there's a whole it's a whole different ball of wax as a whole nother episode
Alexa
But he basically, you know, did a debrief, did a postmortem on the process. And like everyone around him understands that they have basically just told him he's he they know he's going to walk like like they know it. They made the decision knowing that fact. That was one of the risks they took in sort of hiring on this other candidate.
Alexa
And so he's like, look, I was very adamant about my desire for this promotion and where I stand in my career story. And, you know, I'm disappointed that I was passed over for this. And so he's sort of just taking the time to like, you know, his wife's kind of a hotshot and they're she's she's killing it at her job.
Alexa
So he's taken a little bit of a backseat with the family and just kind of coasting, quiet, quitting, if you will, which we can never talk about again, thank God, but never, never have to talk about again. But like, he he he advocated for himself and it didn't work out in his favor. And that's okay. But he never would have gotten the chance for that particular interview had he not previously advocated for it.
Alexa
So it didn't work out in his favor. And like now he's kind of just sitting pretty like they're you know, they're just like hoping he doesn't leave, but he and he will eventually. But like, that shit happens all the time. But he had no chance if he hadn't talked about what he wanted prior to that and putting it, you know, sort of putting his his perverted verbal hat in the fire for the position.
Tyson
So and I think that's like an important lesson. Like sometimes before you go into a situation like this, like this play Worst-Case scenario, like what is like the worst case scenario. So, you know, you want more money and you want to go to your boss and ask for a pay raise. Like, what is the worst case scenario? Okay.
Tyson
Maybe it's that they say no. Maybe it's that they say, you know, no. And then because you ask, they try to fire you, which is illegal in most places. But like, you know, I don't know. So you just try it and then you kind of think about that. You're like, that's so ridiculous. Like, they're not going to fire me for asking for a pay increase.
Tyson
Like, it's, you know, as you kind of talk through some of the worst case.
Alexa
But yeah, I also think you have to be diligent and we're not just talking about pay like we're talking about kind of anything.
Tyson
Anything. Yeah, that was just a general totally example.
Alexa
But like personally as someone on my team, you know, earned a promotion, gave him a pay bump and basically like second thing out of your mouth was like, I'm still trying to get to another level. And I was like, okay, I understand. Like, congratulations. First and foremost. It's like, take a second and fucking appreciate it. But yeah, I understand, like where you're trying to get to, like, there's no well over my eyes on this one.
Alexa
Like, I get it. I and I appreciate the friendly and firm reminder of where you are trying to get to, but, you know, every time I deal with this person, like now I know where they stand. So as their, you know, manager slash boss, like it's it I also take, take things into consideration knowing that that's their expectation.
Alexa
Right? So the other thing you got to remember is the other side of the coin, if you advocate wrong or you advocate too heavily, you can wind up putting yourself on the chopping block, which is like you know, Tyson's never going to get to the salary range that she thinks she's going to get you in the time that she said she wants to get there.
Alexa
So it would actually be better for us to move her on because this other person is on a different trajectory that fits better with the way we're growing a team or something like you. You know, it's situational, but I think you got to just be cognizant of like.
Tyson
And I would argue that if someone is coming like if you have this idea like, you know, I don't know how you want to get promoted and like the next three months and you go to your boss and you tell them that like I would hope that your boss, you know, it's not chopping block right away. It's no, no what this is what's required of that.
Tyson
And these are sort of the things that you need to do to get there and like kind of like I think it's I always coach this is we're actually managers are like supposed to step in is it's their job to explain what's realistic and like, you know, what's the pathway to get there and like sort of trying to explain like I feel like if.
Alexa
You're a manager and you don't know where everyone on your team wants to be in the next like six months to three years, you're a fucking terrible manager.
Tyson
Well, that's exactly like.
Alexa
You should know that about every one of your direct reports like, what are you why are they here? What are they trying to get to? What's important to them?
Tyson
What's there like? Are you enabling that? Because, yes, it's the individual's responsibility to advocate for themselves and take responsibility for their career. But it's the manager's job to help explain, okay, this is the pathway there and this is what you need to do to get there because that's sort of like the black box is like, you know, you can't just get and not all companies can you just get a salary increase on any random day.
Tyson
Maybe it's the manager saying, well, you know what we do salary increases once a year. This is how it happens in this house. The term and this is where the numbers come from, like that sort of like shed light on the process and what that looks like. So. Right.
Alexa
Yeah, yeah. Starting the year off with we need better managers already. Yeah, it's already.
Tyson
Well.
Alexa
Ready already. All right. Tyson, any other thoughts about owning your career? Know pitfalls you want to highlight? Just.
Tyson
I don't think so.
Alexa
I think that's a reminder to take 2023 by the horns.
Tyson
100%. Yeah. That's really why I wanted to lead with this conversation. I think it's super important that people speak up for themselves.
Alexa
And we have some really cool episodes coming up that I think will also speak to a lot of this. We have some communication strategist coming on and some fun stuff that I think will all be pretty relevant to this conversation. So, um, yeah, it's a wrap.